My new reality.

So I want to write again, I know it is good for my heart and soul but I don’t know where to start. The last six weeks have been a rollercoaster of highs and lows that are almost indescribable. Some days I feel like I can take on the world. Kids, work and being the support I need to be to for the love of my life. I mean I am healthy and he is in the hardest fight of his life…I can do it. I need to do it. Then the depression hits. It is like I have been running miles to get to the finish line and I am nowhere near it and my body wants to shut down.

I know he will be okay. I know we will get through this. I know I just need to be gentle with myself during these low times.

I read this quote for Diana Chaloux of Hitch Fit a few weeks back. “When the mind is weak, it is swayed easily, thoughts are not directed and controlled, they float this way and that. They aren't harnessed and used in the powerful way that they can be to propel you to your greatest levels of success.”

I am currently a product of my reality. That is okay. I have only made it to yoga three times in the last six weeks and I haven’t made it to the gym at all. These things normally help me keep my mind healthy and in focus. Everyone, keeps asking me what I am doing for self-care? Right now, self-care means being gentle with myself and that is all I can do.

I haven’t found the balance yet of work, mommy, caretaker and the long list of other things I normally try to do. Maybe I never will. I do know everyone should stop, slow down and live in the moment. Don’t take your health for granted and love your loved ones a little bit more. You never know when your reality is going to completely change.

I guess that is my self-care right now. Slowing down, enjoying what is important and realizing that the rest will fall into place.

- Amanda (@missdjlux)