Well, this week I lost a week of my life. I am an empath and I have suffered from anxiety since I was a kid, and this week was something I wasn’t expecting.  I have been told I am silly, this is blown out of the water, you are ridiculous for worrying, the world is over-populated…of course something like this was bound to happen.

 

To my family members who have listened and help me process everything, thank you. I needed you this week to help me stay grounded. We all need to lean on each other to validate our worries and work through this. As I wake up today, I feel strongly that we all need to talk about our fears openly and honestly so we can heal from this chaos as soon as possible.  Talking does not feed the problem, talking helps flow through the problem without creating sickness within you.

 

For those of you that have nothing to worry about, your family is young and healthy; hold each other a little closer and enjoy this time off together. For those of you that are feeling fear, I understand.

 

Here are some of the reasons I am so scared. I just spent a year of my life praying Billy (my fiancée) would live. He almost died twice this last year, the second time only two months ago. He finished a round of aggressive chemo less than six months ago. I am praying every day that his immune system is strong enough to fight this off.  He works in a barbershop where they act like it is no big deal. Most of the staff and customers are young. They can be walking around asymptomatic spreading it and we would never know.

 

My mother is diabetic and does not have great health. She works in retail. She doesn’t have savings (I don’t either after last year) so she is still going to work because she needs to pay for her meds and bills. My grandmother is 85 years old and I am not ready to lose her. I worry about my ex’s parents who are a huge part of my children’s lives. My children need them for years to come. I have lots of extended family that I may not see all the time, but I worry about them. My heart breaks for the families who are currently fighting diseases with drugs that compromise their immune systems and how scary this must be for them.

 

I know I can’t keep my entire family in a bubble. My kids have two households and unfortunately, they can carry it and by asymptomatic and I know this. I do feel like we can try to do the best we can to try to keep this away from my family.  And yes, I need to be able to talk about the chaos and fear!

 

As I said, I am an empath. This means I can feel people’s energy. This also means this week has been completely draining due to the energy of the world. I have felt more exhausted than I have in a really long time. I am sure even if you have never labeled yourself as empathic you have felt the heaviness. We need to make sure we are paying attention to what our bodies need. If you need to talk, I am here. If you need to cry, cry. If you need to hide in your house to feel safe, do it.

 

To people comparing this to the flu, I ask that you do some deeper research. This is not the flu. I want people to know they are allowed to be afraid, but please try to work through it. Staying calm is the best answer but if you are hiding your fears this is impossible. To the people that think this is no big deal, have compassion for the people that it is a big deal for. We can limit the spread with common sense. So, let’s ban together, show love, gratitude, and common kindness to everyone who is dealing with this on one level or another. This is literally affecting us all.

 

Time for us all to spread love and healing like wildfire. - Amanda (@missdjlux) ❤️

 

 

 

Okay…. Real talk right now. Does anyone else feel absolutely drained and exhausted? I seriously am so spent the last few days. Trying to go out in public to do a simple errand feels like running a marathon! Is it the moon energy or the chaotic vibration of everyone around, feeding off this fear and desperation that is spreading like wildfire right now?

 

When we collectively feed into the fear of the unknown, we lower our vibration. Let’s all take a little time today to release some of that fear of the unknown. We collectively can raise the vibration by sending out the energy to the universe that everything will be okay, and we will heal globally.

 

The full moon is a time for release. And yes, the moon energy can make you feel exhausted! This is the first super full moon of the year and the last full moon before the spring equinox. Pay attention to what your body needs and allow yourself to take the time to nourish it rather than fighting it. It is time to let go of all the junk that knowingly and unknowingly builds up an energetic toxic crash to our system! Let it all go so you can make space for the New Moon energy that is coming.

 

Astrologer Lisa Stardust said, "This Supermoon will allow us to see inner truths and analyze our next moves based on our newly found knowledge. We’ll be able to decipher between fact and fiction, as we accept realities and use it as a catalyst for our decisions."

 

This seems like a perfect time for us to slow down reconnect to our hearts and listen to our bodies. Remember our bodies hear us. Try to stay positive in a time when the world seems to be bringing us down. If we focus on raising our energy collectively it will spread to others.

 

If you have some malachite this is a great crystal to work with during this full moon. The vibration will help balance your heart chakra and set your intention to the universe. This stone is known for amplifying both negative and positive energies by bringing emotions to the surface and allowing you to see them for what they are. Only then can you truly be honest and transform into your higher self.

 

Light a candle, take a bath, sage your space, charge your crystals, make moon water for tea and RELEASE!

- Amanda (@missdjlux 💕)

What is your relationship with prayer? I had a discussion with a client this week about prayer and religion. They wanted to work through the negative feelings that come up when they think about prayer.  They asked me if I pray and if I could help them get past this block that they had towards it.

 

We think of religion as a set of rules or guidelines we need to follow in order to be spiritually connected. For some people this is great, but for others, this can cause some serious aversions to want to pray or how to fit inside a box that does not feel right to them. So many of us were brought up with religion and when it doesn’t feel right, it can sometimes take years of social deprogramming to work through those buried emotions.

 

 Do you need to be attached to a religion to pray? NO.

 

Let’s talk about prayer. Prayer is the conscious decision to put out into the universe what you may need support with or to send out gratitude for what is.

 

As for praying.... I pray almost every time I meditate...

 

In my experience, religious institutions too often teach us exactly what to say and how to say it.  Patrons are sometimes left feeling as though they are not ‘doing” it right if they don’t follow these guidelines.  We put too much pressure on ourselves when in fact, it should be a loving heartfelt conversation with your higher power.

 

I pray to source, to my guides. I ask them to help me stay open to all that they have to offer.  I express my gratitude for all of the guidance they give me. Sometimes, individually to certain guides. 

 

I have a strong connection to Raphael and pray to him when I do healings. I pray to my Spirit Animal when I have a need for wisdom and understanding because he is very wise. To my dad very often when I need day to day help especially with my home, vehicle or my mother. My dad was quite the handyman.

 

Prayer is not owned by any religious institution. They do not hold rights to prayer or how it should be done. It is communication between you and your higher power. It can be done anywhere and to whatever higher power you choose.

 

I probably pray/speak to my guides more than I do human beings!

- Celeste (@motheringhealing) 🙏🏻💕🙏🏻

Today’s Full Moon is so special! Not only do we get the energy of a full moon but we also get the energy of an eclipse. 

 

This full moon is all about spiritual awakening. This energy is coming into power with the potent full moon lunar eclipse in the sign of Cancer today and it will strongly affect family, relationships, and friendships. It will undoubtedly bring up some heavy stuff from 2019 or even further back. Do yourself a favor, don’t stuff it away…  allow yourself to take an honest look at it so you can then let it go.  

 

The power of the Wolf Full Moon serves as a guide for us to trust our instincts and pay attention to what they are trying to tell us.  January 2020 is a power month and sets the stage for what’s to come. Not just what is to come for the year ahead but the decade ahead as well.  

 

What a wonderful way to welcome in the New Year with the powerful Wolf Full Moon.   

 

This is definitely one of my favorite full moons because it makes me feel like I can let go of the energy I’ve been bottling up inside and just howl – 

the howl of freedom and release. 

 

This moon is all about releasing all the old junk you have kept bottled up inside you. It is all about open and flowing emotions, uninhibited self-expression, empathy, and love.  

 

 Wolves are always in a pack.  

 

They symbolize intelligence, loyalty, freedom, and social connections. Demonstrating them in a more balanced manner. 

 

Eclipses are important points in the year as they are believed to bring events aligned with our soul path or soul destiny. 

 

Add all of these together… 

 

Eclipse 

Full Moon 

The energy of the Wolf… 

You get some very strong and powerful energy to work with. 

Many people may feel heavy, tired, body aches, severe headaches… 

 

Listen to your body and honor the energy of this Wolf Full Moon and Eclipse… 

 

Take time to reflect, communicate softly and rest. 

 

Allow all that no longer serves you to go back to the universe,  RELEASE IT!!!! 

 

Then, on the New Moon later this month, set your intentions not only for this year, but for this century. If you are interested in joining us for our New Moon: Connect event on Tuesday, January 28^th please follow the link below.  

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/new-moon-connect-tickets-89200157071

 

- Celeste (@motheringhealing) 🙏🏻💜🙏🏻

 

I know this post seems late, but it is something I have been struggling with for weeks. With 2019 closing out as one of my most stressful and chaotic years I have lived yet, I have been thinking a lot about what I want for “me” to move into this new year.

 

I know I want to step into my authentic path and begin to work as an energy worker. I have discovered a new found love for meditation and mindfulness, and I want to share that with the world. I have gotten a crash course in holistic living and natural alternatives for wellness this last year. I have the traditional New Year’s resolution of eating better and getting back the gym (I put on 15lbs this year! The stress and working so much left little time for self-care.)  I am moving in the direction I want to go but the question is how do I get there with this tornado of my life?

 

Just to give you a snippet of my life and how chaotic it is, I will give you a timeline of my last two weeks (just a little back history for the newbies).

 

My Fiancé has been battling Stage 4 cancer since last January (he was diagnosed after having two emergency surgeries in January. One of the surgeries almost killed him).

 

Six Months of aggressive chemotherapy which ended in Sept.

 

He barely worked last year due to his illness. He went back to work full time the last week of Sept.

 

He had a hernia due to the surgery from January. A hernia... no big deal, right? That is an easy procedure that people have all the time!

 

On December 20^th we go in for his pre-op appointment and the surgeon lets us know it is a bigger deal than “just a hernia” surgery. Both of us feel the blow. I was so overwhelmed with him being out of work again, being his caregiver again, and the idea that I just got him back and he was going to be hurt and not himself again. I spent most of Christmas week crying tears of complete exhaustion and being overwhelmed by life.

 

Friday, December 27^th: His surgery time gets pushed back twice so I have now had to shuffle my kids through three different scenarios of people watching them.  I am feeling the PTSD side effects of being in the waiting room, while he is in surgery again.

 

The surgery takes place at 5 pm, the surgeon comes out around 7 pm. He sits down next to me and says they had to do even more than expected once they got in there. I was soooooo upset and sad for Billy. He was going to be in so much pain again. They completely opened him up for a second time. When he woke up and realized he was so angry.

 

The following week was spent juggling caregiver duties (he couldn’t even stand up without help when he first got home), kids’ home on Christmas break (great winter vacation for them!) and me trying to juggle four jobs. I had booked a weekend to DJ in San Jose that following weekend months before any of this was even happening. Do I cancel? No. Everyone tells me I have to continue on so I will trust that he will be okay when I leave.

 

On Friday, January 3^rd at 7:30 pm as I am getting ready to go to work, I get a call from Billy. “Babe, I can’t breathe. I have shortness of breath.” I feel the panic in his voice. I tell him to go to the ER and he questions if he should, but luckily, he goes. I start texting with his surgeon and about two hours later, I get a text from his Dr. “He has a blood clot in his lung, but he is stable.”

 

Like, WTF??!!! Now I am in Cali, I am supposed to DJ and I am falling apart. The surgeon tells me he will text first thing in the morning to let me know if I need to jump on a flight home the next day. I made it through most of my set okay thanks to friends and family, but I lose it at the end of the night. I am in Cali alone and afraid and unfortunately going down the google rabbit hole of what a blood clot in your lung means.

 

I wake up to a text from Dr.Z at 7:15 am, saying that he stayed in a normal room and he didn’t have to go to ICU so he is stable. He said I was okay to stay in Cali. Billy is stable but am I mentally stable and okay to stay in Cali??

 

I mean, I should stay in Cali. I can’t do anything at home, he is just going to be in the hospital. We need the money more than anything. It didn’t take us long to hit our deductible for the year again! But I can’t really explain what it feels like to be in a place, taxed, stressed, scared and feeling like you just can’t do your job.

 

I did it. I went to work. It may have not been my greatest night of djing, but the dancefloor was packed and that is a good sign. I also got a few signs from my angels. Halfway through the night, an angel on the dancefloor handed me a wrapped Unakite stone. ­­Unakite is a stone of clarity. As Energy Muse put it “the Unakite healing properties give your heart the superpower of 20/20 vision and the courage to be a hero to the ones you love.” Seems like it couldn’t have been more fitting!

 

Then a friend who has had an even harder year than me (he, unfortunately, had to have his leg amputated due to a medical complication last year) showed up with the best energy to support me at my set. He usually stands next to me when I DJ, this time he was in a wheelchair. His energy was contagious and reminded me that we are all stronger than we think. I don’t know if he knows how much his support helped me that night, but it gave me the extra fuel I needed. I was so grateful he was there.

 

I didn’t share this series of events for sympathy, or because I am currently depressed or sad. I came home, Billy left the hospital, and he is going to be fine. I am grounded and okay in this moment.

 

I shared this because this is my tornado. We all have tornados in our lives that disrupt the flow of what we need and want to accomplish. How do I keep on my path and set intentions for my goals in this tornado?

 

On Monday morning I started writing down three things that I would like to accomplish that day that were only for me. My goal this week was to do this every day and at least accomplish one of the three things. I did get to one on Monday. I did two of the three yesterday and I already started my day with meditation this morning so one thing is checked off for today.

 

I am not in a place yet where I can have long term goals. I can have daily goals. Just even getting one of those goals done made me feel accomplished. If I keep building on that I will get to where I need to be.

 

My tornado is currently still swirling around me with unknowns and ready to create havoc at any second. I make the choice to not get sucked up in it. If it comes out of nowhere and chaos does unfold, I am okay with being messy for a minute. I am only human. It is my job to then use my tools and my support system to get back to the center.

 

So, what do I want for me in this New Year? I want to continue everything I have been doing this last year. I will continue my mindfull practice and what living mindfully means to me. I will practice gratitude daily. I will be gentle with myself. I will focus on what my heart center truly needs so I can live my most authentic life. This year is going to be a year of building and progress. I will start each day with one goal and go from there.

 

HAPPY 2020 EVERYONE! - Amanda (@missdjlux) ❤️

It may be less than astounding to say that sobriety completely changed my life, but it did in so many ways I couldn’t have expected and some I wasn’t even prepared for. When I started this journey, I didn’t know what the end game was. 30 days, a year? Now I know it is a life changer and it is a permanent part of my life. This year the anxiety and depression have been so intense. So many nights I cried myself to sleep when Billy was sick from chemo right next to me. I have felt more alone, sad and stressed this year than I think I ever have in my lifetime. But I felt it. Every damn painful moment of it.

 

I remember a friend asking a few months ago if I was still not drinking and I said, “thank god, I stopped drinking, my kids would not have a mother this year if I was”. His response was “that’s a little dramatic”. I don’t think it was dramatic at all. It was a very true statement. The anxiety and depression I battled this year has been extreme. I do not even want to think of where I would be if I was still drinking and partying.

 

Over the last two years SO MANY THINGS HAVE CHANGED! I want to scream it from the rooftops and put so many things into words, but I am not even sure where to start.  I decided to put together a list of things that impacted me the most when it comes to sobriety.

 

You always have to answer why

So, fucking annoying!!! But you come to realize it is what it is. Guys, sober is not a curse word! All it means is I used to drink and now I don’t. If someone says, I don’t drink, or I am doing 30 days sober or I am sober, say things like awesome, congrats, you must feel good! It isn’t a bad thing; it means they are choosing a healthier lifestyle!

 

My friends

This was one of the most painful parts of this process. I didn’t expect to have so many people drift away from me.  I was the one who shared my love with everyone. I would throw birthday parties, help people whenever they needed it, I truly loved my friends with all of my heart. I didn’t expect to lose friends the way I did. It isn’t negative or bad, I just think they couldn’t relate to me anymore. So, they stopped checking in and eventually people I thought were family that were going to be in my life forever have gone in another direction.

 

I had to relearn how to DJ

DJing without the shots of Patron took me a minute to find my footing. That was my liquid courage. It makes me sad that I disconnected myself from something I love so much for so long. I love dancing. I love feeling the music. Not drinking allows me to stay connected to those vibes and carry them with me for longer periods of time.

 

Sleep

I wake up every day at 5am now. I am so much more productive! I used to stay awake almost every night until 5am. Add in two kids and I was on a path to self-destruction.

 

I will never touch a drug again.

Once I became a mom, I knew I didn’t want to be doing the same dumb things that I did in college and in my 20’s. Things weren’t changing though, I was still living the same life. I told myself the story that I was the “party girl”. What was my identity without that title? I hated the way I felt after I partied. It felt gross. I was not showing up as the mom I wanted to be. When I was drinking the drugs came hand in hand.  Without alcohol, I am never even tempted to do a drug. Goodbye anxiety-causing agents, that dimmed my light!

 

My kids will never have to see me drunk.

The idea of my kids seeing me drunk makes me sick to my stomach. I guess maybe it is because I remember watching my family get drunk when I was younger. You are observing as a child not understanding why they are being silly, or why they can’t keep their balance correctly. The energy feels really uncomfortable as a kid. My kids will never see me like this. This makes my heart so happy.

 

I can talk about my emotions.

This year the stress was unbearable times. Even more, than the stress was keeping my fear at bay. The fear and the unknown create anxiety. Trying to keep your mind calm so you don’t go to those dark places is hard, but it can be done. I was able to talk to my fiancé and friends when days were really hard. I was able to say I am depressed, and I could work through the feelings. The old Amanda would have kept them bottled up and masked them with booze until they exploded like a volcano.  Being able to talk and in return have your feelings validated is an amazing feeling. Not all days are good. You can accept the bad days and move through them rather than trying to hide them in a closet, only for them to show back up later.

 

I realize I will probably always want a drink.

Yes, you read that correctly. I have been sober for two years and I still think about drinking. It is crazy that a chemical can have so much control over your body and mind when you haven’t even touched it in so long. The last few months have been so stressful, there have been a few times where I think “maybe a drink wouldn’t be so bad”. I have had to have little talks with myself to ask myself questions to see if that is a door I really want to open again. I always come to the same answer, NO.

 

It is crazy how hardwired our brains are. Bad news let’s have a drink. Good news let’s have a drink to celebrate! We have been brought up in a society that trains us to think this way and it forever changes our brain chemistry. It has been a complete mind-fuck to realize I may always feel this way. So yes, my body may always crave a drink but I know my heart and soul do not want one.

 

I show up for myself.

This one has been the toughest thing for me to do this year. I have been a caretaker, the sole provider for the family and a mom. I started my dream business right before this chaos started and I have had to realize it is okay if I don’t get everything done and that it will grow in time. I have had to really look at what is going to help me physically, emotionally and financially.

 

There are days that I am too depressed or overwhelmed and I reach out to friends. I have learned to ask for help (most of the time lol). I am blessed to have so many beautiful people around me that have shown up for me. This, in turn, has allowed me to show up for myself.

 

So many amazing people and opportunities have come into my life.

Have you heard the statement “light attracts light”? You attract the vibration that you put out into the universe. I love this statement and a beautiful soul who went out of her way and gave me an amazing opportunity sent this to me again yesterday. I have been blessed this year to have so many amazing opportunities and people come into my life and show up for me in ways I never could have imagined. I will pay every single ounce of it forward.

 

I found my superpower.

My super power is……… okay, maybe I am not completely sure yet but I do know I am on my path.

 

I am proud of Crystalline Tribe. We are creating a community that will help people shift perspectives and find tools that will help them succeed in this crazy life. I got my Reiki Master this year and I am now completing a Meditation Teacher Course. I want to help young people navigate through all the chaos with positive tools, so they don’t get sucked into drugs and alcohol as I did.

 

Today, I am 2 years sober and this is one of the best things I have ever done and also the hardest. Drinking and checking out is easy. Doing the work and facing all your emotions is hard.  If you are sober curious or feel like alcohol just doesn’t have a place in your life anymore, you can change it. I won’t lie. It isn’t always the easiest path at times, but It will be the best decision you ever made.

 

I am blessed to have a network of people that help me. If you need help or are interested in what options are out there please reach out, amanda@crystallinetribe.com. I don’t know if I have the answer, but I can try to find you a resource to point you in the right direction.

 

- Amanda (@missdjlux) ❤️

Guys did you see how big the moon was last night?? It takes my breath away! The moon is so close to us this time of year, which can create a feeling of mixed energy. It can feel amazing and powerful as you stare at the intensity of it, you may even feel an extra boost of energetic vibes. The energy can also bring a wave of emotions that you may not understand. (Especially since we are in retrograde right now!)

 

The full moon tonight is in Taurus. What does that mean? Well, it means you should feel a little more grounded and connected today. Taurus is an earth sign. As you approach your day think of things like slow down, pay attention to bring a calmness into your space, cuddle up and surround yourself in things that make you happy. Take some time to give yourself some extra love tonight. What makes you feel good? Tend to your needs.

 

Astrologers are saying this is a great moon to let go of your past. We are in retrograde right now, so I am sure everyone has had old lessons popping back up to remind you, you still have some work to do. Just when we think we have conquered a life lesson, the universe will throw it back at us, to test us.

 

When you pay attention to the moon cycles and you use them as tools to reset and let go, you are actively changing your brain patterns. You may not understand what the moon energy has to do with it, but this is an active form of mindfulness that you are creating every month or twice a month if you practice with the new moon and full moon. Mindfulness is the practice of increasing one’s ability to be in the present moment.  

 

Set your intentions for the month with the new moon. Release anything you need to let go of in the full moon. Did you realize we were helping with your mindfulness practice? If we can start paying more attention to the here and now, we will live happier lives. These rituals create a time to reflect and that work of self-reflection helps us be more aware and connect to our emotions and feelings. These practices will start to carry over in your day to day life and you will live more present lives with your families and loved ones.

 

 

The full moon is calling! Time to release and reflect! This is the simple fire ceremony that I always share but it is such a simple, powerful ritual that anyone can do. When you release what is not serving you anymore you are actively working at changing old patterns of thinking and creating change within your subconscious.

 

Simple Fire Ceremony: 

Prior to meditation burn some sage or palo santo if you have it.

1. If you don’t know how to meditate yet just set a timer and do a minute of intentional breathing. All intentional breathing means is focusing only on your breathing. Count every inhale and really feel the exhale. You don’t need to overthink this just do what feels good for you wherever you are in your practice.

1. Write down the things that down serve you anymore. Any fears, happenings, feelings that you would like to release and let go of.
2. Burn the piece of paper outside under the moon if possible. If you can’t you can do it over a sink. Please just make sure you are being safe and responsible wherever you choose to burn the paper.
3. While the paper is burning, envision the smoke going up to your guides and removing itself from your presence and space.
4. Journal your thoughts or visions.

 

Now pamper yourself and love on yourself today! Charge your crystals under the moon and soak in all that energy!

 

If you are in the Salt Lake City area and want to join us to learn more tools in manifesting around the new moon, our next event in Sunday, November 24^th at OM Wellness in Holladay. Click here to learn more:

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/new-moon-speak-your-truth-tickets-81049508261

 

- Amanda (@missdjlux ❤️)

 

Chemo #12 - He is done!!

 

What a rollercoaster today was. You want to be so excited that he made it through treatment, and it is over, but it isn’t over just yet. As he lies next to me sick right now, I am so grateful that I don’t have to see him sick every other week anymore. It is a bittersweet celebration though. This isn’t over yet. We have only entered into a new chapter.

 

The best way to describe this is feeling is like when you get to the top of the biggest roller coaster you can imagine, and you are looking down; Is this going to be the amazing thrill that gets your heart pumping or is this going to be the bumpy ride that hurts your body and leaves you feeling nauseous?

 

As I was reading about survivorship today, trying to make sense of the emotions the Dr. warned us would come, I found this:

 

There are 3 phases of survivorship:

• Acute survivorshipstarts at diagnosis and goes through to the end of initial treatment. Cancer treatment is the focus.

• Extended survivorshipstarts at the end of initial treatment and goes through the months after. The effects of cancer and treatment are the focus.

• Permanent survivorshipis when years have passed since cancer treatment ended. There is less of a chance that the cancer may come back. Long-term effects of cancer and treatment are the focus.


 

We have no entered the second phase.  Our life has only been about surviving the last 9 months. It has been complete crisis mode and everything that comes along with it. Will he walk out of the hospital? Can he handle the chemo treatments? Where are we going to all live that we can afford? Can I keep our family afloat and living a semi-normal existence?

 

When I think about where we started, I am so fucking grateful. Grateful he walked out of those hospital doors. I felt like I couldn’t breathe today looking at the old pictures and remembering the night we went to the hospital. That night when the doctor sat down next to the bed and said the words “this isn’t good, this is cancer” will forever be burned into my existence. They knocked Billy out with drugs to help with the pain he was in and I sat awake in a cold hospital waiting for morning to come so I could talk to someone. I feel like I haven’t slept since that night. I have been walking around in a fog just trying to get to the next chapter. Well, here is the next chapter, now what?

 

He isn’t’ going to just miraculously feel better. (Although lately he is so much more like his old self! This pic he wanted to take yesterday proves that!) Now we start the next journey. Now is when the healing really starts. Now is when we have to be more diligent than ever.

 

When we first met with the oncologist about the chemo treatments, he looked at Billy and said, “you will die if you start chemo in this state”. Now if that isn’t a terrifying statement, I don’t know what is. Billy was deeply depressed (with every right to be!), not able to process food correctly yet and still on a feeding tube. I have watched this man fight for himself and his family. He changed his complete diet. He is diligent about taking vitamins and juicing daily. He has gone back to his mindfulness practice and exercising when he can.

 

The next chapter has begun. And now we heal. We both need to heal from the trauma of the chaos that has engulfed our lives. We have to let go of the emotion that surrounds it. We have to live without fear. We talk a lot about how we do that, and that is definitely going to be a work in progress. Fear creates an environment for cancer to grow. We can acknowledge the fear and talk about it so we can process it, but we cannot exist in the unknown. In three months, we will know if the treatments worked. Until then we will start to rebuild. Rebuild our relationship, rebuild our home and be grateful every day that we are here and for this moment we are all healthy.

 

I was surprised by the overwhelming emotion today. I am still stressed, semi-relieved, happy and left to wonder what the fuck comes next? When I figure it out, I will make sure to tell you.  Till then we are going to try to navigate what healthy living means to us and use the tools to create our future. 

- Amanda (@missdjlux ❤️)

Raise your hand if you’re an empath??? Yes, that is me through and through.

 

I never paid attention to how the full moon energy affected me until about a year ago. As an empath, being flooded with heightened energy can be overwhelming. Last year I was djing sister circles monthly on the full moon and every time, I was a complete mess!! Always forgetting basic things, running in circles, completely off balance. Then I realized that every month around the full moon I felt chaotic. It makes sense to me that the moon affects us. It controls the ocean so how can we believe it doesn’t affect us? The human body is mostly made up of water!

 

I have also noticed I get some pretty intense downloads around the full moon. I have realized that I can’t fight them. I just have to stop and get out on paper what they are. If it is regarding one topic like yesterday, I eventually ask the angels to stop and I let them know I need to move on. Realizing and learning this process has made my life so much easier. When you are not trying to fight what is happening and you can understand and go with it, life becomes less of a struggle! I used to get upset that my ADD brain wouldn’t let me focus. Instead yesterday, I knew I had a message that someone wanted Mothering Healing to have so I stopped in the middle of the mall, pulled out my computer and wrote. So easy!

 

So, the point of this blog post is to talk about the full moon and how it can deeply affect all of us. If we harness the energy and pay attention, we can use these cycles to release and manifest. The full moon is a time for release. I have talked before about how I love the traditional Native American Fire Ceremony. When the moon is full, and at the peak of its energy, this is a time to release what is not serving you and create change deeper within your subconscious.

 

Here is a simple fire ceremony you can do tonight if you choose:

 

1. Meditate (or at least take a few breaths of intentional breathing) You don’t need to overthink this just do what feels good for where you are in your practice.
2. Write down the things that down serve you anymore. Any fears, happenings, feelings that you would like to release.
3. Burn the piece of paper outside under the moon if possible. If you can’t you can do it over a sink, please just make sure you are being safe and responsible wherever you choose to burn the paper.
4. While the paper is burning, I envision the smoke going up to my guides and removing itself from my energy and space.
5. Journal your thoughts or visions.

 

I also use the moon to make charge my crystals, make moon water (my kids and I drink stardust and moonbeams all the time!), and to just stop and reflect on how beautiful the moon is so I can take in its energy!

 

We hope that you get to stop and reflect tonight. Enjoy these intense moon vibes and have some fun with them.

 

If you are interested in joining us for a New Moon Ceremony in two weeks in the Salt Lake City area, you can find more information for the event here:

 

https://www.facebook.com/events/458508058042386/

 And if you would like to enter to win 2 tickets to the event the link is here:

https://mailchi.mp/ba2d62c51aa8/newmoonreconnection

Winners will be picked on Monday, Sept 16^th! We hope you will join us for a night of reconnection, balance, music, and tea on September 28^th!

 

- Amanda ( @missdjlux ❤️)

 

Our world is bombarded with movies, images, and stories that tell us what a family should be. When you were young, you probably had an image in your head of the perfect family. Well when you are brought up in an environment where your family doesn’t match that “perfect” family, it can be really hard.

 

I was that child. I spent half of my childhood at my grandparents’ house, which I loved! I don’t know where I would be without my Memere and Pepere. Well, right next door lived Mr. and Mrs. Pelletier. They were my grandparents as well, but I was born out of wedlock, so I was just Amanda to them they were, Mr. and Mrs. Pelletier to me.  Then my dad who suffered severe PTSD from the Vietnam war would also live there at times. He was always in and out of VA hospitals so it was always random, and I didn’t usually know when I would see him. I realized later in life that he was honoring my wishes, but he used to walk by me in the yard with his head down and not even say hello.

 

I knew this felt wrong. He was my dad; he should say hello. I also knew to some extent it was okay. I feel like most of my “daddy issues” and feelings of no self-worth came from what society told me the relationship should look like. I have spent years processing this and when he died on this day 4 years ago, my world forever changed. I could no longer live in a space where I didn’t respect myself. I had to move past the trauma for good and stand in my power. I am a beautiful human who shows so much love to the people around me and the question of “why can’t they love me the same way in return” was an old story that I did not need to tell myself anymore. (I will write more about the stories we tell ourselves, and how they continue to show up in our lives on another day.)

 

Today’s message is about healing and forgiveness. Growing up I always knew I had a connection to my dad. I always knew he was special. Society told me he was sick, and he was a “dead beat dad” but I didn’t feel that way in my heart. You see his veil between our world and the next was very thin. He saw things most people couldn’t see. He felt the energy of people without them saying a word.

 

I got this from him and unlike most children, I never lost it. I have always seen things that I was told: “couldn’t be there”. I have always felt overwhelming energy from people and spaces. If I had been taught about these feelings at a younger age, I probably wouldn’t have battled with anxiety so bad through my adolescence and 20’s.  

 

When I was younger, I was scared of it. In my 20’s I was intrigued by it. When my dad passed in my 30’s I knew it was time for me to finally live my authentic life and not hide from it anymore. When my dad passed, my eyes were opened to so many different perspectives that as a young child I couldn’t see…..and I wasn’t taught. My childhood was different, but it didn’t need to be negative. I learned so many lessons that made me the beautiful caring woman I am today.

 

Since my dad’s passing, I have connected with him so much more than I ever did on this plane. He sends me messages all the time. He shows up in readings and is always looking over me. Yesterday he wanted to get through to me and he found a beautiful soul to send me a message that had me ugly crying. This person has been an angel in my life through this last year and it was exactly what I needed yesterday.

 

If you start paying attention, you will see the messages and signs. If you start living your authentic life, the trauma that once hurt can be healed. I forgave my dad for not showing up the way society said he was supposed the week he died. I also thanked him for showing up the best he could on this earth. His death closed one chapter but started a new one. His death was the beginning of my new journey.

 

I wrote the following on the top of a mountain in Park City when I got the news of his passing 4 years ago:

 

I had no idea when you left this world it would hurt so much. It is like a chapter has closed that was never even written. Although we only talked here and there over the years, I always knew you were out there. The person who gave me my artistic side. The person who gave me the art of poetry. Although your soul was more tortured then mine. I got a piece of that too. That allowed me to learn to fight and grow into who I am today. I hope your mind is finally at peace. Goodbye Richard.

 

 

Today, my letter would end with Goodbye Dad. I would say thank you, Dad. Thank you for the lessons. Thank you for being an angel who is always around me.

- Amanda (@missdjlux ❤️)