Four years of probably my most proud parental moment and family tradition. Yes, this picture is our actual tree. Balls were thrown at it like baseballs, garlands thrown from all places, nothing matching, nothing making sense. It is the Hill/Murphy household's Messy Christmas tree.

How did this come about you ask? In 2020, my daughter came to me with a situation that had caused her an enormous amount of distress. As a parent, you immediately want to “fix” the situation and take away the tears. When the situation takes place outside of your household, there is no way to fix it. Just like most lessons in life, all we can do is hold space for all the emotions and try to shift them.

I asked my daughter what she needed, and her response was, “I want a messy Christmas tree! Nothing can be perfect.” So, I listened, although hard at first in this idealistic world of perfectionism, I honestly did not love my tree that year. To be honest, this may be the first year, that I stare at my tree in awe of what it truly represents.

You see the lesson was in something needing to be perfect and the situation told my daughter she was not that. Now we have a simple family tradition that shows nothing is perfect and perfect does not make anything better. Our Christmas is not any less than because we have a messy tree.

This summer my daughter shared the story of our messy Christmas tree with a family member while we were on vacation. Listening to her version of it and the laughs that followed when she said we throw everything at it was exactly what PERFECT represents to me. My heart feels so full just revisiting this memory.

Perfect is an unattainable goal. There will always be someone who sees things through a different lens than you do and who tells you your version is wrong. My hope is that my kids know that I never expect them to be perfect and I will never choose something “looking perfect” over their feelings and needs.

This mama is damn proud of herself every time she looks at her messy Christmas tree.

- Amanda ( @luxhealingarts ✨)

Gate 1: Purpose

I am WHO I am.

I have wanted to write about Gate 1 all week. I wanted to share my thoughts with my members in You are the Stars and in my business container because this energy is all about our purpose. This is a deeply creative energy that lives in the now. How would you answer “I am _______ “?

I have been so wrapped up in the emotions of my heart and navigating my drive and purpose this week, that finding the words has been next to impossible! For my defined throat and gate of the storyteller, this is an unusual feeling for me. Unusual but also makes so much sense considering how personal this energy is and where I am at in my own human journey. Walking the path of healing and growing while sharing with the collective can be a very humbling experience.

I don’t feel anxiety or overwhelm, it is more of a need. A need to do more. A need to bring some off my larger ideas to life. We are here to be the star of our own show. We are here to let our creativity soar and take the ride that empowers us and lights us up. All the while staying tethered to our heart and our soul’s purpose. We can never lose sight of our why.

Being in integrity and authentic are not only important to me but they are the fuel that sustains me. Without that my creativity, my offers, what I am bringing into this world means nothing. Sometimes, I must check myself. Why am I doing this? Why is this important to me? Why am I being driven to create this?

As a Manifestor, I am here to create new paths that others have not traveled yet. This can be exciting and alarming all rolled into one. Sometimes my ideas seem too big. Too out there. Now that I understand my urges, I understand that this is my bodies hell yes. My big energy is always going to cause people to try to limit me, but I am limitless.

This is a time to embrace my inner unicorn and let myself dream all the creative ideas and know that my voice is still learning and growing with each day. I used to say Amanda Land is a fun place to visit, and now I know it is. Want to join me on the ride? Let’s inspire each other and empower each other to dream big and trust where the universe takes us!

“Creativity is a heart driven superpower that pushes me to be more. It’s an energy of love through expression. Art, music and dance are all fuel that feeds my soul.” 

- Amanda ( @luxhealingarts ) 

Last week marked a pivotal chapter in my personal growth journey, and let me tell you, it was a rollercoaster ride through my nervous system. I had the honor of being a speaker at the Professional Women’s Networking Event in the charming town of Rock Springs, Wyoming. To say I was nervous is an understatement, but the thrill of the challenge was undeniable. You see, I've spent my entire adult life as an entrepreneur, juggling multiple businesses, and I've reached a point where I want to be a guiding light for others, helping them find success, health, and the realization of their dreams. It was a dream come true to be in a room filled with powerful and inspiring WOMEN.
 
Most of my career was spent in a world that is male-driven. There are not a lot of female DJs, and the nightclub world is male-dominated. My passion for empowering women in business and sharing the lessons I'd learned along the way has been brewing inside me like a storm. The day of my speech, the butterflies in my stomach went into overdrive. I knew the jitters were part of the package, but that didn't make them any less real. I turned to my breathing exercises to calm my nerves and ensure my energy was in check. After all, who wants to be a bundle of nerves in front of a room filled with amazing women?
 
The speaker preceding me was someone I deeply respected, and we shared similar philosophies. I had my speech all figured out before the event, but as she began, I noticed some overlap in our content. My anxiety level skyrocketed. What if my message gets lost in the mix? What if I don't connect with the audience? What if I fail at speaking my truth in a way that resonates with these women?
 
Summoning every ounce of courage, I stepped onto the stage. My voice quivered, and my hands were shaking as I began to speak. I am suddenly having flashbacks to the 14-year-old me that had my first solo in a high school concert and I choked due to nerves. Isn’t our body's cellular memory fascinating??? At this point, I deviated from my prepared speech. With a shaky voice, I turned to the crowd and said, "Sorry, folks, I need your help for a moment." I placed my hand on my heart and started to breathe deeply. I explained to the audience that our nervous system doesn't always distinguish between excitement and fear. If we don't take a moment to breathe and calm down, our bodies can release cortisol, which only adds to the anxiety.
 
As I led the crowd through this impromptu session of box breathing and offered gentle explanations, I was inadvertently soothing my own nervous system. It was like watching a storm cloud dissipate and reveal the sun. Once I felt ready, I continued with my speech.
 
After my talk, I stepped off the stage and confided in a friend, "I hope that went okay. I had to calm myself down up there." Her response was, "You were great, and you have no idea what you just did up there."
 
She was right; I was oblivious to the magic that had just happened at that moment. I gave every woman in that room the permission to be human.  The compliments and gratitude I received for my willingness to be vulnerable and demonstrate how I conquered fear were heartwarming. I had unintentionally become a living, breathing example of what I teach my clients. That's what authenticity looks like; I was just being me.
 
My speech centered on the idea of connecting with your heart center, no matter your line of business. Are you living your truth and infusing your heart's desires into your work? If not, how can you integrate elements of yourself into your business to create your magnetism that people can feel? My truth and vulnerability were my secret weapons, and they can be yours too if you dare to lean into your heart center and embrace your truth. People don't want a cookie-cutter version of you; they want the authentic, unfiltered, and inspiring you that lies behind closed doors.
 
So, let my journey be a testament to the fact that sometimes our fears and vulnerabilities are our greatest superpowers. Take a deep breath, step into the spotlight, and let your authenticity shine like a beacon. After all, it's the quirky, unique, and perfectly imperfect you that the world is waiting to embrace.

Amanda - @luxhealingarts

Happy New Moon in Virgo!  Do a little happy dance, Mercury also stations direct today! Communication can resume with its regularly scheduled programming. All jokes aside, you will most likely feel less emotional trying to have those intense conversations and there won’t seem to be so much confusion around what people are trying to express.

The New Moon is our time to reevaluate intentions and spend some time setting new ones. It is a new energy cycle that allows us to stop, check in and ask ourselves what we need. The New Moon is the energy of new beginnings. This New Moon brings a unique blend of cosmic energies that encourage us to focus on self-improvement, precision, and the details of our lives. This Virgo New Moon also aligns with Gate 47 in Human Design.

The New Moon in Virgo, an earth sign ruled by Mercury, the energy will be highly analytical, practical, and detail oriented. Virgo is often associated with self-improvement and self-care. This New Moon encourages us to take a closer look at our habits, routines, and health practices. It's an ideal time to set intentions for bettering ourselves, whether through physical fitness, mental clarity, or emotional healing. Do you even know where your values here lie? How can we start when we don’t take a second to look at what is truly important to our hearts. Virgo's analytical nature also aids in setting achievable goals. Take this time to outline your objectives with clarity and precision. Break them down into manageable steps for a more successful journey.

Virgo's influence compels us to pay attention to the finer points of our lives. This includes decluttering, organizing, and fine-tuning various aspects of our existence. Use this New Moon energy to clean up both your physical and mental spaces.

Virgo’s love to be of service. During this New Moon, consider how you can contribute to your community or help others in meaningful ways. You may feel a pull to show acts of kindness or support those around you, a little more during this time.

The new moon aligns with Gate 47, in Human Design, known as the "Realization" gate, and it carries powerful insights. You may have profound clarity or sudden realizations around situations. You may suddenly see your life’s purpose, understand your relationships on a deeper level or be able to look at your personal growth journey through new eyes.

This gate emphasizes the transformative power of knowledge and understanding. It's a reminder that as you gain awareness and insight, you have the potential to evolve and grow on a deep level. Just as Virgo encourages service, Gate 47 prompts us to share the wisdom we gain with others. Consider how you can pass on these lessons and new understandings to benefit those around you?

Gate 47 also reminds us that true understanding often requires patience and the right timing. Don't rush the process; allow insights to unfold naturally. Combining the energies of the New Moon in Virgo and Gate 47 in Human Design creates a potent blend of self-improvement, precision, epiphany, and transformation. This New Moon invites you to embrace the details of your life, seek understanding, and use that knowledge to elevate yourself and those around you.

As you set your intentions tonight, consider how you can align your actions with the practicality of Virgo and the transformative wisdom of Gate 47. Whether you're embarking on a journey of self-discovery or looking to refine your daily routines, this New Moon offers the energy for growth, expansion, and evolution.

On my way to set mine, my Manifestor surge is on fire right now. 

Amanda ( @luxhealingarts 💕)

To say this Pisces full moon has affected me is an understatement. I knew it was coming. I know I have a deep sensitivity to the moon cycles, and I can work with them rather, then against them. I knew the sun was shifting to gate 40 and the moon was shifting to gate 37. With all this knowledge and gentleness, I was prepared to give myself, it hit me with an intensity that I was not ready for.

Here I am awake at 4am processing the day before and unable to sleep as the energy of the moon, beams through my window, so bright that it looks like there are lights on outside of my house.  Yes, I love keeping my curtains open to look outside at night. As a Human Design Manifestor, I have a deep sensitivity to the cycles of the moon. The truth of the matter is, we actually all do if we choose to pay attention.

I was on edge yesterday, feeling off all day. Then it happened. I was triggered. I felt alone and like my family does not see what I do for them. There it was…the shadow I had just told my student’s the previous evening to look out for! Bring on the waterworks! The moon is in Gate 37 which creates an emotional channel that I do not usually have access to. The feeling was overwhelming, until I settled into it.

In the Human Design system, each gate is associated with an I Ching hexagram. The I Ching is the ancient Chinese astrology system that has been around for thousands of years. When planets like the Sun and Moon transit through these gates, they infuse their energies into our lives and the world around us.

The Sun in Gate 40: The Aloneness Gate

Gate 40, also known as the "Aloneness" gate, is associated with the energy of isolation, individuality, and the potential for profound insights. This gate can trigger feelings of solitude, but it also holds the key to tapping into one's unique perspective. With the Sun's recent placement in Gate 40, there is a heightened focus on self-discovery and embracing the wisdom that comes from spending time alone. This period encourages us to introspect, detach from external influences, and find our own truths.

The Moon in Gate 37: The Family Gate

Gate 37, the "Family" gate, embodies themes of community, relationships, and interconnectedness. This gate highlights the importance of finding our place within various groups, whether it's our biological family, social circles, or broader communities. With the Moon currently in Gate 37, there's an emphasis on nurturing our relationships and understanding how our personal connections contribute to the larger tapestry of human interaction. This phase prompts us to explore our role within our chosen families and how we can positively impact those around us.

I suddenly was interwoven into the shadow of both gates. Feeling isolated and alone, trying to make sense of my emotional response to a situation, I normally navigate fine. Crying is healthy. Even when we may not understand, the “why” of our emotions, if we can just feel into the emotion, we can move the energy. Cried, moved on, and communicated my needs.

I went to bed fairly early, only to not really sleep and but then to be buzzing awake at 4am with energy coursing through me. No need to cry but I need to move the energy. My mind writes.

 We are a force that can wake dormant souls, shining light on their hidden roles.

 Embrace your fire. It is here to inspire beyond your walls an unknown path, opening in the fall.

 For you are the spark that breaks the night, Guiding all towards their inner light.

This is your reminder to gentle if tense energy comes up today. Take some time to be creative Pisces are very sensitive, compassionate, and creative beings. Let yourself ride in the wave of energy and see where the universe takes you.

- Amanda (@luxhealingarts)

Yesterday morning, I received a phone call I get about twice a year. It was a loved one on the other end, begging for help. Addiction wreaks havoc on families, and the person in that situation genuinely wants help. However, I had to evaluate my own situation and determine if it was the best option for me to help at this moment. My nervous system screamed, "YES! Help! This is chump change for others." That's my hero wound, always jumping into the ring to try to win the title. But the reality was that our family was not in a financial position to assist. I had worked extremely hard in the past few months to plan out our family trips for the next four weeks. Giving away that money would not only affect me but also impact my family. And guess what? My nervous system would still be activated, prolonging the spiral of stress longer than necessary.

Saying no is one of the hardest things for family members in such situations. We can hear the truth in their voices, knowing they need help and genuinely desire change. However, after years of the same dance, we must stand in our truth and determine the best course of action for each person seeking help. Otherwise, we risk getting caught in a downward spiral of chaos, depression, and anxiety, alongside the person we are trying to save.

This storyline can be applied to various situations in life, even if we remove the addiction element. Where do you find yourself giving when you know you don't have the capacity to do so? What unexpected situation hits you out of nowhere and creates a nervous system disruption, unleashing years of stress upon you like a cannonball?

Being human means our nervous system will experience periods of dysregulation. This was my process yesterday when unexpected turmoil jolted me out of nowhere:

1. My nervous system instinctively jumps into fight or flight mode - it's a natural response. This alarm system ensures our safety. However, if I don't take the time to calm myself down, it can shift into cortisol and create anxiety. If you find yourself in a constant state of stress and anxiety, it's a sign that you're not taking aligned action. I used to be trapped in this cycle for years until I decided to break free from the spiral.

2. I allow myself to cry and check in with my heart to determine the aligned action for me and my family.

3. I express my needs. This step took me years to learn and is still one of the hardest for me. I became the person who saved the day for so many people in my family at a young age, and it's ingrained in my cells to not put myself first. But now I know that not taking aligned action for myself only makes me sick. I refuse to go down that path ever again.

4. I call @billygoatthebarber or another safe person to talk about the situation. My throat needs to speak. My body needs to release the energy through my voice.

5. I move my body. For me, movement is a must. It has evolved over the years, but today, I hopped on my Peloton. Walking, running, dancing, and biking are all grounding activities that bring you back into your body. In Human Design, I'm an active body type, so getting my heart rate up and sweating are both positive for me.

6. I take a 6-minute breathwork pause. I stop, drop, and engage in breathwork. This is my new slogan for myself and my clients.

7. I take a shower and write this blog. I teach through experience, and my pearl lies in the gate of the Storyteller. It's the way I process, and in turn, I hope someone else finds peace knowing they're not alone in their daily journey. Writing is one of the most healing things I do for myself.

8. I return to my regularly scheduled programming. The old me would have lost an entire day. But the new me gains growth, perspective, and gives myself time to step into my personal power with each lesson life throws at me.

If I had ignored my emotions, the rest of the day would have left me energetically drained and emotionally tapped out. I'm sure I would have unintentionally created some chaos of my own. We have the power within us to create calm. The world wants us to believe it's outside of us, in the next pill or next plant medicine experience. The answers to our problems do not lie beyond our bodies. The magic is within you. If the young girl who used to experience debilitating anxiety attacks every day of her life can learn to reconnect with her nervous system, so can you.

- Amanda (@luxhealingarts)

I Wish They Meditated More.

This photo was a rare moment in time when my children wanted to meditate and learn the things Mommy was doing. Sometimes I look back on the last few years and I feel like I dropped the ball for them. I couldn’t be everything to everyone, and the roles of caretaker and provider were non-optional. Life as a parent is a complete juggling act with moments of just praying you didn’t completely mess them up. One of the areas that weighs on my mind the most is meditation—a practice that has brought me immense peace and healing. However, I couldn't find the energy to actively cultivate their interest, and forcing them to meditate seemed counterproductive. As they get older, I am starting to realize the profound impact of leading by example and the impact our actions as parents have on their development.

The weight of parental expectations can fill us with self-doubt. The self-doubt comes from a space of love and wanting the best for our children, but it does not serve our own hearts. Would I have loved to do more to instill in them the love for meditation that had been so transformative in my own life? Yes, but deep down, I knew that I couldn't force my children to embrace something they weren't ready for. It would be counterproductive for their development and our relationship.

Everyone Finds Their Path in Their Own Time.

As the saying goes, "Everyone comes to meditation and learning about what calms them down in their own time." I know that their journey is their own, and they will discover the benefits of meditation when they were ready. Rather than focusing on my negative thoughts of non-existent shortcomings, I am shifing my perspective and beginning to appreciate the subtle ways in which they are showing me they have learned through observation.

Children are incredibly perceptive, often absorbing information and experiences through observation. I started noticing the words my children chose, and I was amazed at the knowledge they had absorbed simply by listening. I know they are sponges, but I it was like I thought they tuned out when I was discussing work, or anything to do with calming the nervous system. Realizing how much they were absorbing made me giggle. I tell clients all the time that things happen when they are meant to happen but here, I was thinking I can control the outcome. They are on their own path of self-discovery, and it isn’t meant to align with my expectations.

Leading by Example.

Our actions as parents hold tremendous influence over our children's lives. They see us in our daily routines, utilizing the tools we've learned to navigate life's challenges. Whether it's meditation, mindfulness, or any other practice that promotes well-being, our children are silently observing and learning. Instead of coercing them to embrace these practices, we can engage in open discussions, sharing the tools that have helped us, and allowing them to explore them in their own time.

Want to know the real-life hack? The best thing we can do as parents is to heal ourselves. When we embark on our own journey of self-improvement and self-care, we become beacons of inspiration for our children. As we cultivate our own well-being, we indirectly influence theirs, setting them on a path of self-discovery and personal growth. By prioritizing our own healing, we create a ripple effect that extends far beyond ourselves, positively impacting the lives of our children.

Parenting is a constant learning experience, filled with moments of self-doubt and reflection. Yet, through it all, we must remember that our actions speak louder than words. While we may feel compelled to guide and mold our children's interests, it is crucial to trust in their own journey. By leading through example, we provide them with a blueprint for personal growth and self-discovery. So, let us embrace the power of healing ourselves, knowing that our children are watching, learning, and finding their own path in their own time.

- Amanda -  @luxhealingarts

Amanda @luxhealingarts

"From the standpoint of wisdom, there is no such thing as failure, only experience." - Richard Rudd

What are you ready to create to find abundance in your life?

The New Moon is always a great time to set intentions and find awareness around what you want to create in the next month. This energy is feeling extra abundant and exciting due to the planetary shifts this week. On May 15^th Mercury retrograde ended, May 16^th Jupiter moves into Taurus and today’s New Moon in Taurus feels like the push of ambition I have needed after such a crazy eclipse season.

Does anyone else feel like they were thrown into a washing machine, spun around a million times, rung out to dry and then put back on their feet in a completely different place on the map than you ever expected to be in the month previous? My month was INTENSE. As I write this, my mind went to using the statement, “my life was a hot mess this month” but that vocabulary and mind set doesn’t work since I know I asked for it. When you are embodying the planetary energy and asking your guides to put you on the path for your best intentions, you better believe if you are not listening, they will create a dynamic that is a blow horn in your face to listen.

As I have been consciously embodying the energy of the moons and planet placements more and more, I am continually asking my guides to help me align with the healthiest and most abundant path there is for me. This means that in times of shake up when I am not aligned the energy is going to really let me know. So that washing machine feeling was crazy and out of the blue, but it happened FOR ME. I didn’t fight it, I only leaned into what the best course correction was for me. It was uncomfortable and there were pieces of it that hurt my heart, but I had to learn my lessons and my part so that I can step into my aligned path.

This is life. Blissfully thinking you are aligned and where you need to be just to find out you took a wrong turn somewhere. The wrong path was not a waste of time, it taught you something. You can lean into the lessons learned on that path and course correct at any time.

The shakeup of eclipse season is over and now we are in an energy of abundance, passion, and extreme potential. The Taurus New Moon represents a time of planting seeds and setting intentions related to stability, abundance, and material well-being. It is an amazing time to focus on everyday matters like finances, your career goals and building the foundation you need to build the future you dream of.

I realized the other day that my entire life I had dreams about who I would become. I knew what I wanted to do and what that looked like. In the chaos of life, the last few years, I have been hyper focused on following what I want to do in my career and what the role of mother looks like, but I haven’t had a clear vision of what I want my future self to look like. I can take all the classes and learn all the information, but how am I going to align with who I want to be without a vision of this woman and who she is.

What lens are you looking at yourself through? What would bring you abundance to live the life you want to live?

- Amanda ( @luxhealingarts 💕)