Today my baby girl turns 8. As your child grows, it brings up so many emotions. I was reflecting last night about when I was pregnant with her. It was a really hard pregnancy. I was in a lot of pain and I was working way too much. I didn’t show myself love so how could I expect the people around me to. I used to say all the time “I don’t want a little girl anything like me.” What hurtful words to say to myself and to my unborn daughter!!
I didn’t realize it at the time, but those words were the acknowledgement that the life I was living was not authentic. I did not want her to grow up and be the “party girl”. I used to joke that I had daddy issues and she wouldn’t have those so she would be fine. It was so much more than that. When I chose to say “I don’t want you to be like me” I wasn’t acknowledging the qualities in me that I LOVE and I did want her to have.
It breaks down to this. What you focus on becomes your reality. When I started to change my focus to what was important to me in life, my reality shifted. I have come a long way in learning to love myself and know that I deserve that love in return. I am damn proud today that that little girl is exactly like me.
Her energy lights up a room. Her drive and ambition are going to take her where ever her heart dreams she wants to go. If someone tells her she can’t do something, she says “oh yeah, watch this”. She is gentle, compassionate and love pours from every cell in her body. I am so proud she is exactly like me.
You are my strong, beautiful little girl who will eventually turn into a strong, beautiful woman. You are ambitious, caring and gentle. I promise to continue to learn and grow and be the best version of myself for you and your brother. I will let you learn your lessons but please do not grow up too fast.
Always keep believing in magic. Fairies are real and your dreams can become your reality. Always talk nice about yourself. Never take anything too serious. Always know how much your family loves you.
You are a shining light in a dark world. Your light will help others and I will always be here to hold your hand through the journey. I love you Mykla Bella. Happy Birthday and thank you for choosing me to be your mother.