Wow… I am not even sure where to start. As I sit here and try to write this blog post, I am filled with so many emotions. Today I am 1 year sober. To me, this is my health day. My day I took back my life. The day I made a decision to not put chemicals in my body any more that were taking over my mind. One year ago today, I chose happy.
This journey has been an intense one. I was so depressed for years. I let the people around me walk all over me because I didn’t think I deserved anything else. When I lost everything I knew, I would try to scream at the top of my lungs why what was happening to me wasn’t fair. Most of the people that I considered family didn’t care. I was drowning. My reality imploded.
Drinking was my reality. It was how I made my living. Recreationally doing drugs was completely acceptable and the way of life in my circles. It couldn’t possibly be the cause of the chaos around me? Everyone around me did the same things. Then I met a man who didn’t do the same things. His reality was completely different. My eyes started to open.
When I decided to do 30 days sober, I only did it to prove I could. Then I wanted to try 3 months. Then the reality check that came at 3 months about how much better my depression and anxiety was became undeniable. Could I do a year? I was supposed to be the party girl…..that was who I was! Who am I without It? I guess I was “sober curious” as some of the blogs I follow would say.
That statement is actually alarming to me. We have taught our society that they “deserve” a long drink after a hard day. We have created a term like “sober curious” when in all actuality it is one of the healthiest things you can do as a human. You are literally drinking poison! Ethanol alone can cause coma or death and it is a carcinogen. Rather than rejoicing people who choose healthy, we act like sober is a curse word and come up with terms like “sober curious” for people who are thinking about not drinking poison anymore! Like seriously WTF is wrong with us?!
Please embrace someone who is sober around you rather than look at him or her like they have a rare disease. Just because someone is sober doesn’t mean that they aren’t the same person they used to be. All it means is they don’t want poison in their bodies anymore. Their reasoning’s or why they got there is none of your business and shouldn’t even matter.
I keep getting these wake-up calls of how fucked up and backwards we think about drugs and alcohol. Maybe because it is so mainstream and acceptable no one wants to discuss the darkness it brings to most people. Maybe because that slippery slope we watch some people fall down, “wouldn’t happen to us.” Well, it happens to a lot of people. If I am completely honest with myself, I don’t drink because I don’t want to do the drugs anymore. When I drink, the recreational drugs are there too. They killed my mind for years. I thought it was just fun and games in my 20’s but it isn’t. I have lost friends. Drug addiction is directly affecting my family as we speak. It is not a reality I want my kids to grow up in. I choose healthy.
Today is my healthy day. I will talk to my kids about it and I will rejoice this day every year. This is the day I truly took my life back and I stepped out of my depression. I am stronger and mentally healthier than I have ever been. It’s crazy to think the last time I was a year sober I was 15 years old.
I want to be a voice for people who don’t have there’s yet. I thank my angel’s every day that I didn’t have an addiction. I am so thankful that I decided to stop and I could. I know so many people struggle and it isn’t that easy for them. I want to educate people so those who want to change their path can. Getting help so you can be healthy is NEVER negative. Choosing healthy is the best gift you could ever give yourself.
I am crying tears of happiness right now because I am proud of myself for coming this far. Deciding my life was killing me and changing it was the hardest thing I ever did. Now that I am on the other side of it, I am so proud of myself for having the courage to do it.
Today I am one year sober. Today I am one year healthier.
- Amanda (@missdjlux ❤️)