So last year I was faced with a problem that may seem minuscule to some but left me feeling heartbroken. My kids were going to start their first day of school without me. My daughter had asked if I could do her hair and I was told no. I had said I would drive to them….I asked for multiple scenarios to make it work but the answer was no. They had never started a day of school without me! I was completely heartbroken. I turned to the victim mode as so many of us do in situations like this. Why was this happening to me? Why would I not be allowed to see them?
So the only next step was the ugly cry phone call to my Aunt (@motherhealing), which pretty much took place daily at this point in my life. Her response floored me. She said, “why can’t you see them?” Such a simple question that I thought I had just explained! I explained again that I wasn’t allowed and that I tried. She said, “I am pretty sure no one can stop you from being there when they get off the bus.” Mindblown….that did not even cross my mind!
Why hadn’t I thought of that? All I wanted to do was kiss them and say have a great first day! So there I was waiting for them when they got off the bus with a flower and stone for my daughter and a calming stone for my son. I will NEVER forget the look of happiness on their faces when they ran up to me.
So this year when the first day rolled around again and the bus got to the school, there I was with a flower and stones for both of them. Again their smiles lit up my world. I got my kiss and I got to say have an amazing first day of school. No Victim card involved. No stepping on anyone else’s personal boundaries.
I say this over and over, life is all about perspective. We hear the line is your glass half full or half empty? But do you really think about how this scenario plays out in your everyday life? I am a half full glass type of person, but not this time. Actually, if I am being honest, not the last few years because I have been in the victim mind state. My fight or flight mode had been on high alert for sooooo long! (More to come on that topic later.)
It is hard sometimes, but try to take a different perspective. Especially when you are feeling like a victim. Allowing your self to take a different perspective and approach will actually allow you to take your power back. What is right for you may not always be right for the people around you. Switch your perspective. Tackle the problem from a different mindset. We get so in our own heads we lose sight of the actual problem we are trying to solve.
Thank you @motherhealing for giving me a different perspective. I cannot wait to share you with the world!
- Amanda (@missdjlux)