As a society the hustle culture was glorified and praised. Work hard, play hard and party harder. That is how I grew up. Until Covid hit I did not realize how much I worked and helped those around me to a fault of my own health.
I was trained to work hard. I grew up helping my family with their kids because that is what you do right? It was an expectation that I learned that turned into a responsibility I put on myself. It wasn’t until recently, I realized it is not my responsibility to always be the one that helps my family. Then I started working at a young age and loved the freedom of having my own money to spend. When I got to college, I worked multiple jobs so that I could afford living expenses and to stay in school.
As I became an adult, I worked multiple jobs and went to school. I was expected to always pay my ½ of everything even when it was out of my means because I was a full-time student. I learned to earn love, I had to work harder. I worked 3 jobs at times to keep our house when my significant other wasn’t really working to follow his dreams. I was okay with it because we were working towards “a common goal” or so I thought, but that is another blog.
What I am trying to get at is I am 42 and I have literally worked 2 or 3 jobs my entire adult life. I didn’t get maternity leave because we owned our own business and things could never wait. If we didn’t get things done now (even breast feeding and creating flyers on the computer) we would miss our chance. I always had to immediately answer the phone when it rang because a sale could be lost.
That was the epicenter of hustle culture. Always on with complete disregard of life passing you by. When I decided to end my relationship of 17 years, I knew this was a major aspect of my life that was killing me, and I wanted to change it immediately. That was 5 ½ years ago and I can finally say I did it.
It started with the phone. This took me years to break. I had been trained that I had to answer every call and every text immediately because we could lose a VIP booth sale if I didn’t. Detaching myself from my phone was SO HARD. I was able to do it with some of the best advice I have ever gotten from my cousin’s wife, Briana.
She said start red, yellow, and green time with your phone. Green time, you can answer. Yellow time, you can answer if it is important. Red time you never answer. I told this to my children, and I allowed them to say “mommy, red time.” It gave my children some power over the situation and allowed me to hold myself accountable so I could break the habit of panicking if I missed a call. We still do this today.
The major shifts came last year when COVID hit, and the world stopped. I was having a really hard time juggling the kids being home all the time and working from home. My daughter needed a lot of extra time, and I didn’t know how to give it to her. I realized when we were hiking, I was still distracted by phone and client emails.
I remembered an experience I had 6 months prior when I was partnering with Lindsay of LVL Holistics. She said she didn’t have her email on her phone so sometimes it would take a few days for her to respond. I remember thinking how crazy that was, but it intrigued me that she could this as successful business owner. I decided to try it. I was a LIFE CHANGER. I still do not have my email on my phone to do this day. I check my emails when I am in front of my computer and not any other time.
As Covid went on I was able to slow down more and more, reconnecting with myself and my kids. Taking more time off. Blocking out work time and family time. Along the way, I found some amazing business partners who have not only been my mentors and coaches, but I can say are truly becoming some of my biggest supporters.
For the first time in my adult life, I just took a vacation with my family, and I DIDN’T WORK! It felt amazing! I don’t know if I have ever felt so present with my family. My business partners truly stepped up and worked the events while I was away. I cannot explain the feeling of a supportive team that you can trust so you don’t even have to think about what is going on without you there. Thank you Wandaly and Haley for showing up for me in so many ways this last year. I can’t wait to see what we build together.
I will always have multiple jobs because I love having multiple businesses. Understanding and respecting the pause and the breaks are truly what makes you successful. If there is a positive that came out of COVID, it is that the hustle culture is a scam. The real hustle is working less, doing what you love, and making more.
- Amanda (@luxhealingarts ❤️)