Well, this week I lost a week of my life. I am an empath and I have suffered from anxiety since I was a kid, and this week was something I wasn’t expecting. I have been told I am silly, this is blown out of the water, you are ridiculous for worrying, the world is over-populated…of course something like this was bound to happen.
To my family members who have listened and help me process everything, thank you. I needed you this week to help me stay grounded. We all need to lean on each other to validate our worries and work through this. As I wake up today, I feel strongly that we all need to talk about our fears openly and honestly so we can heal from this chaos as soon as possible. Talking does not feed the problem, talking helps flow through the problem without creating sickness within you.
For those of you that have nothing to worry about, your family is young and healthy; hold each other a little closer and enjoy this time off together. For those of you that are feeling fear, I understand.
Here are some of the reasons I am so scared. I just spent a year of my life praying Billy (my fiancée) would live. He almost died twice this last year, the second time only two months ago. He finished a round of aggressive chemo less than six months ago. I am praying every day that his immune system is strong enough to fight this off. He works in a barbershop where they act like it is no big deal. Most of the staff and customers are young. They can be walking around asymptomatic spreading it and we would never know.
My mother is diabetic and does not have great health. She works in retail. She doesn’t have savings (I don’t either after last year) so she is still going to work because she needs to pay for her meds and bills. My grandmother is 85 years old and I am not ready to lose her. I worry about my ex’s parents who are a huge part of my children’s lives. My children need them for years to come. I have lots of extended family that I may not see all the time, but I worry about them. My heart breaks for the families who are currently fighting diseases with drugs that compromise their immune systems and how scary this must be for them.
I know I can’t keep my entire family in a bubble. My kids have two households and unfortunately, they can carry it and by asymptomatic and I know this. I do feel like we can try to do the best we can to try to keep this away from my family. And yes, I need to be able to talk about the chaos and fear!
As I said, I am an empath. This means I can feel people’s energy. This also means this week has been completely draining due to the energy of the world. I have felt more exhausted than I have in a really long time. I am sure even if you have never labeled yourself as empathic you have felt the heaviness. We need to make sure we are paying attention to what our bodies need. If you need to talk, I am here. If you need to cry, cry. If you need to hide in your house to feel safe, do it.
To people comparing this to the flu, I ask that you do some deeper research. This is not the flu. I want people to know they are allowed to be afraid, but please try to work through it. Staying calm is the best answer but if you are hiding your fears this is impossible. To the people that think this is no big deal, have compassion for the people that it is a big deal for. We can limit the spread with common sense. So, let’s ban together, show love, gratitude, and common kindness to everyone who is dealing with this on one level or another. This is literally affecting us all.
Time for us all to spread love and healing like wildfire. - Amanda (@missdjlux) ❤️