4 years SOBER!!!! Holy shit! I can’t believe it has been 4 years since I decided I wasn’t going to drink or party anymore. I did this for me, for my kids, and for my family. Can you believe that after 4 years, I still get weird looks and people wonder “what must have happened to me” to choose sober? I have written about Sober being the new curse word many times. It is the only situation where choosing healthy is made out as a negative or you must have been in a negative situation to choose it. Hello world! I was NOT IN A NEGATIVE SITUATION, but I chose HEALTHY! SOBRIETY IS HEALTHY. Sorry for all caps but that is for the people in the back.
I was just like everyone else around me. I didn’t party more than the world I lived in. I was successful and I never even thought I had a problem. I saw “problems” every day and I wasn’t there. Well, that is what I was conditioned to believe though right? We are allowed to be drunk and do dumb things? We are allowed to say, sorry, I didn’t mean to because I was drunk? Those are all things we grew up learning and are now accepted behavior in our homes. So, wait, we are okay with the problems the toxic element brings but the person who stops using the toxic element is the “problem”???? Our world is F#CKED. Ha, excuse the language but seriously, remove the alcohol and give this equation to a child and even they would know it makes no sense whatsoever.
Four years ago, I started to question what I wanted my future for my kids to look like. Was that the behavior what I wanted to teach my kids? Did I want my kids to see me intoxicated? Did I want my daughter to grow up to be the version of me that was the partier? What if my anxiety could get better without the toxic substances? What if I could be a better mom by just by giving up one thing?
So, I decided to try. I did a month. Then three months. Then a year. Then I decided to just keep going because I felt so damn good that why would I choose any other way. Then a year and half in, the love of my life was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer. I am so blessed that I was not self-medicating! The journey that took place for the next 2 years would have been very different if I was using alcohol to cope. He is here, healthy and cancer free and I am here still sober.
As I was talking to my kids about my sobriety last night and why it is so important to me, my heart was so full. I told them it is hard to show up in a world that conditions you to believe that the toxic behavior is fun, and still be the one who is fun. It is hard to feel every emotion and not check out, but it is so worth it. When we learn to be fully present within ourselves and learn what makes our hearts happy, we live more fulfilled lives.
Some still try to project onto me that I did something wrong. It is sad to me that our society would rather choose to look down on a healthy decision rather than celebrate it. Imagine how that makes someone feel that is struggling to show up in this world as a better version of themselves. If someone says they are sober or on a journey of recovery, celebrate them!! They need it. Society shouldn’t make you feel less than for choosing a healthier path to live. If your sober curious and want to talk, reach out to me. Let’s start a conversation about a healthy a lifestyle.
- Amanda ( @luxhealingarts ❤️ )